I suck at blogging.

I'm the absolute worst at blogging, I swear. I'm just not on the computer enough and when I am all I do is check facebook and my email and thaaaaaat's it. Poop.

So I was just going through my old emails with this certain special boy and realized what a complete crazy I turned into once we came home for summer break last year. I was a totally different person at school and then all of a sudden all the stress and craziness from ym homelife just RUINED me and turned me into a complete lunatic. NO wonder things have been so hard lately, I'm basically a mental patient. This sucks. I gottagottaGOTTA figure something out anf fast!

Sooo John Kenn

Stumbleupon.com is officially my new favorite thing.

It's constantly showing me loads of cool things that I didn't even know existed,

especially different art which is awesomeee.

So I found this guy named John Kenn yesterday.

And he's basically this guy from Denmark who makes films for kids,

but in his spare time draws monster pictures on post-it notes.

And they're soooo cool.

His drawings remind me of a creepy twist between Maurice Sendak's artwork in Where the

Wild Things Are and Tim Burton.

And it's just really amazing that they're all drawn on post-its :]

Out with the old, in with the new!

New blog name :].

And a bunch of great gifts for the holiday.

Today was a good day.

Merry Christmas!

Seriously amazing.

Lovelovelove.

Ahhhh.

I'm probably the only one that gets excited for a new book on Christmas.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and got what they wanted :]

Bloomahs :]

Dear American Apparel,

If your clothing wasn't so expensive I would have bought these shorts instead of making them.

But I'm super proud of them, so I forgive you for your high prices :]

Love,

Joslyn

Oh, Zefronnnnn

Dear Zac Efron,

After seeing Charlie St. Cloud I realized we should get married and I would pretty much give up my first born to be your lawfully wedded wife.

Not only are you gorgeous, gorgeous, and gorgeous, but you make crazy look real good.

Love,

Joslyn

Gay Marriage and the Bible

I am tired of people giving Christianity a bad name.

I am tired of the Bible being used as an excuse for ignorance.

I am tired of my Lord and Savior taking the blame for people's hate.

Today I was watching the Tyra Show (don't judge.) and the whole episode was about gay rights, gay marriage being the main topic. So, naturally, there were views from both sides and many guests insisted that same sex marriage is wrong because of what it says in the Bible. They said that gays had no right to get married because homosexuals had made the CHOICE to be the way they are, and that they were "mentally unstable", and that they lived lives of sadness and despair simply because they were gay.

The Christians said that in the Bible, being gay is wrong.

But doesn't it also say in the Bible that we are to love one another as we love ourselves?

Doesn't it say in the Bible that we have absolutely no right to judge anyone else because not one of us has lived a sinless life?

What right do we have to tell someone that they do not have the right to get married? What right do we have to tell someone what they can and cannot do with their body? We don't have that right. God gave us free will for a reason and He gave us the Bible for a reason. The Bible is not meant to be used to judge and discriminate against one another. It is to be used as guidance FOR OURSELVES, to attribute to our own lives; not to try and control everyone elses.

I just don't understand how someone can sit in church or read the Bible and only take parts and pieces away from it and ignore the rest. I feel like Christians are considered the most judgmental people there are and yet our religion is based solely upon love and acception.

Did you forget the part where Jesus says "Live in harmony, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble"?

As Christians, we are not supposed to sit on a high horse and point the finger and believe we are righteous. What righteousness is there in discrimination and hate? Who are we to tell others how to live because of what we read in the Bible when we ourselves are not even living the way God has asked?

As Christians we have been asked to help one another, to love one another, not to discriminate and ridicule and assume superiority because of our beliefs. We are no better than anyone else. In admitting that you are a Christian and seeking God you are admitting that you are a sinner and need guidance just as much as everyone else.

All I am asking is that before you call yourself a Christian, you stop and think about what God has asked you to do. He has asked us to love, above all, and to take one anothers burdens as if they were our own, and to help one another without condition.

That's the basis of what we believe in, and if you're going to forsake that, maybe some self- reflection is in order.

GOOD NEWS!

Fantastic news!

I bought this dress a little bit ago!

And it's not floral!

Surprise!

Floral rehab must be working!!!!!

From Here to Eternity

So I've decided to rekindle my obsession with love.

I've never seen this movie, From Here to Eternity (1953), but I've seen this picture a million times and have always thought it was beautiful and just about as romantic as you can get.

Which I loooove.

Ever since I was little I've always been obsessed with love.

I'm pretty sure I became a hopeless romantic as soon as I saw Jonathon Taylor Thomas around the age of 5, and it just got worse from there.

The fact that at age 6 I witnessed one of the greatest love stories of all time starring the beautiful Leo DiCaprio didn't help much either.

Sure, I was a little upset with Kate Winslet for being the love interest and for letting Jack die, but as I got older, I came to appreciate the love story and realized that Rose Dewitt Bukater was not my enemy, she was just insanely lucky to meet such sex god in the middle of her suicide attempt. Dramatic, yes, but that's what makes great love stories great.

I continued on through childhood falling in love several times a week, my love interests including Justin Timberlake, Colin Farrell, Eminem (barf.), Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp, and in 2004, at the ripe age of 13, I joined many girls across the nation when I fell in love with Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun in The Notebook.

I've only seen this movie once and I don't know that I'll ever watch it again because it honestly had me in tears. Unlike Titanic, which I still watch sometimes even though it depresses me for days, I have refrained from seeing this movie and becoming a total mess more than I have to.

But their relationship is still beautiful and inspiring and it feeds my hopeless romantic needs.

Ha.

I don't know why I'm such a hopeless romantic, I've been that way all my life.

Its probably because I slaved over Disney Classics that many people believe give little girls "unrealistic expectations of love".

But I don't believe that.

I never said Prince Charming was gonna come to my rescue, I can rescue myself, thankyouverymuch.

I do believe, however, in love everafter, that it's possible to be in love with one person for the rest of your life.

I'm not sure when everyone else stopped believing that but I feel like as soon as they rekindle that belief (there's a lot of rekindling going on today), love won't be so scary and life won't be as empty, and marriage won't be a burden, and happily ever after won't just be a cheesy, fairytale ending.

But hey, that's just me.

Is It Wrong That I'd Rather Be Almost Naked?

Ok, so I don't literally want to be almost naked like swimsuit naked, but I am getting extremely tired of wearing a lot of clothing. Fortunately [not.] for me though, I live in North Eastern Ohio where we get only the most pleasureable weather, and it's the middle of May and I'm sitting in my house FREEZING in a pair of jeans and a cardigan.

Honestly, I am ready to be wearing minimal fabric that I can just throw on and leave the house in. Am I wrong for wanting to wear clothes that are barely there? I don't think so! I have been covering my body up to my eyebrows for the past 6 months and am sincerely tired of wearing the same sweaters and tights! My legs are aching for sunlight, i'm pretty sure they're gonna fall off soon if I don't unveil them.

But anyways, I'm just ready for nicer weather. I despise thinking too hard about what I'm going to wear in the morning, and despise even more the unsatisfied feeling I get when I leave the house in an outfit I don't really love. And I've been doing that a lot lately because I am so tired of rewearing the same clothes! Plus, I have always been a fan of skirts are dresses and can't stop buying them, so when it comes to warmer clothes I'm always at a loss. I never buy them, so I never have anything to wear when it's cold except for the few sweaters I bought probably on accident. I tried to buy some this winter but ended up buying itchy acrylic cardigans that I've come to loathe.

So I'm ready to wear a dress that took 2 dollars to make because of the lack of fabric. I've been searching online for an example so I don't just sound like some sort of Nudist, but I've been unable to find exactly what I want. I guess any dress works as an example really since it's a single piece of clothing instead of the VARIOUS pieces I've been forced to wear these past months.

This dress would be a dream to wear in the summer. But who knows if it will ever be warm enough where I live for such a dress.

So going into the summer I sincerely hope for better weather. I heard we were going to have a cold summer though, which is a slap in the face after looking at all these pretty dresses. I guess I'll just have to freeze.

Please, God, Don't Let Me Buy Anything Else Floral

I am addicted to any and everything floral. It's disgusting, really, my closet is filling up fast with flowery skirts and shirts and shorts and dresses...the more I think about it the worse I feel.

But I can't help it! Really! Everytime I go shopping I'm always drawn to anything flower-covered. I try and trick myself into thinking that if I buy garments with different flowers, or maybe even just different color schemes of flowers, I won't notice that it's all I'm wearing. And I was fooling myself until I came home today with 2 new floral shirts and went to hang them up in my closet and saw the 5 flower dresses, 4 pairs of shorts and 5 MORE skirts. It's excessive.

It's like stripes and plaid are suddenly the most boring thing I've ever seen and I don't want anything to do with them. I did, however, buy a solid light pink skirt today which I was proud of (NOT floral .)

Then I bought this lace shirt in white to go with my pale pink skirt..I guess it's a FLORAL lace so make that 3 floral shirts I came home with.. And thennnn, I bought this sea foam green tank to go under the lace shirt because I like the green with the pale pink and white. So one solid color shirt is a small success I guess..even if it is going under something floral ha.

I also bought a couple pairs of shorts (denim, not floral!)

So I guess it was a pretty succesful shopping day besides adding to my collection of all things having to do with floral. I have to find another addiction.

Melancholy and Cool, Kind Of Bittersweet

Modcloth.com, $24.99

You see these two people? I'm pretty sure they're in love. And you know what? I've wanted that my entire life. Sad? Yeah, maybe a little sad, but my whole life I have desperately wanted to be in love. I mean, I would pine over the guy I liked and just completely fall for him...in secret. He, of course, would have absolutely no idea that I even liked him because I have become such an expert at hiding my feelings. Hiding my feelings meant never getting hurt, and that was the underlying goal that I never knew I had until recently. I was under the impression that the goal was to fall in love. But then again, I didn't know a lot of things until recently because over the past few months a lot has changed.

I met a boy. And he liked me. And I decided to give it a shot because I stupidly assumed that because he liked me first, that meant that he liked me more and that gave me a certain amount of control over what was going to happen. I was wrong. Because I fell for him... and I fell hard. It was completely unplanned, completely spontaneous, and completely terrifiyng. And even though there are times that I am so happy and can't believe how lucky I am to have this perfect boy in my life every single day, there are days, like today, that I'm terrified. Days that make me scold myself for not being more careful. Because now this boy means more to me than I could have even imagined, and I'm afraid he hadn't planned for it to go this far.

Maybe if he wasn't so genuine, and sweet, and caring, and funny, and awkward, and talented, and wonderful, and outraegous, and beautiful, and tender, and amazing, and modest, and crazy, and artistic, and thoughtful, and unsure of himself, and everything I've ever wanted, then I could, even for just a second, regain some of the control I once had over my heart.

When I was guarded I never felt like I was standing at the edge of a cliff waiting for the slightest breeze to send me sailing over the edge.

When I had walls I never regretted my feelings, never feared that maybe this was the last time I would have those feelings returned to me.

When I was cautious I never sat and stared unblinking and unsure if today was the day my heart would break.

I miss those days, the days where I was safe.

And yet, everyone says that love is worth it, love is everything.

But I don't love him. And he doesn't love me. We are at a sad inbetween where who knows what the other's feeling? I am terrified to tell him how I feel because I'm afraid he'll feel trapped and that he won't want to do this anymore. And if he doesn't want to do this anymore where does that leave me?

Not alone. I have my friends, I have my family.

But it does leave me broken, another crack in an already mishapen heart.

There is a quote in this movie that I love called The Tale of Despereaux. One of the characters explains that "Sometimes when your heart breaks, it can grow back crooked. It grows back twisted and gnarled and hard."

Well, my heart was broken a long time ago. And I thought it'd mended, I thought I was the miracle child that had made it through unscathed. But that's just another messy detail of my life I've recently come to realize was completely wrong.

I hate that I didn't know myself better.

I hate that I'm not perfect.

I hate that I'm vulnerable.

I hate that something so beautiful can be just around the corner and that I just can't keep up.

I hate that I can't tell anyone about it because I'm afraid it's just a dream.

I hate and love and am utterly amazed at how wonderful he is.

I have always been the strong one, the one who's head was on straight, who always knew what to do. But now I'm afraid my head is going to fall off entirely, which I feel would be potentially dangerous if I was driving or operating machinery. I guess it's a blessing in disguise then that I don't have my driver's license.

RetrObsessed

I've always loved retro clothing. A lot. Especially clothing from the 40s and 50s because i'm pretty sure i was supposed to be born back then. I've actually just purchased a shirt dress from H&M that makes me look like a 1940s army wife, so i'm obsessed with and basically want to live in that dress for the rest of my lifee.

So, i'm on a mission to find some style icons that support my love for retro style clothing. So far i've come up with one: the lovely Katy Perry, of course. I've loved her style since i was in high school, and i'm still obsessed with it.

So that's one style icon down, and hopefully many more to come.

;]

Fabbity Fab Fab!

The life of Georgia Nicolson has been entertaining me since i was 12 years old. I thought Georgia was the most brilliant, hilarious person in the entire world. I stole her words, and phrases, and basically anything else i could so i could be as brilliant as she was. However, i am not English, which i feel was the most significant detail as to why i loved her so much. I was heartbroken when i realized i couldn't just become English. I'm actually steal dealing with this loss, even today.

So they've FINALLY made a movie about Georgia's life. Of course i HAD to rent it and see if the creators did the book justice. I mean, i liked it. I'm officially re-obsessed with Georgia Nicolson and the little voice inside my head has regained it's british accent, but i do have a few criticisms for the film.

1. The film is called "Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging" when the book is clearly titled Angus, Thongs and FULL FRONTAL Snogging. Why change the title for the stupid Americans that didn't read the book and didn't see the glossary in the back which clearly defines full frontal snogging as: Kissing with all the trimmings, lip to lip, open mouth, tongues . . . everything (Apart from dribble, which is never acceptable.)
2. Jas was not nearly as annoying as in the books. In fact, i sort of liked Jas in the movie, which is not acceptable if you know the Jas i know that was painfully annoying in ALL of the books.
3. Ellen. She was basically Jas from the books in human form. She was never that tragic in the books, until she dated Dave the Laugh that is.
4. Wet Lindsay was called Slag Lindsay. Um, what?
5. Georgia did not call her parents Mutti and Vati, which i insisted on calling my parents after reading the books.
6. Dave the Laugh was not a laugh. He did have nice eyes though.
7. Robbie was not a sex god. In fact, Tom, aka Jas's very sad and ridiculous cabbage farming boyfriend, was cuter. Robbie is supposed to be the pilar of male beauty, a sex god for goodness sakes. And he was medicore. He was English though so i ended up liking him in the end, which i don't think was fair to me at all.
8. Did the Ace Gang sound a bit scottish to you?
9. Where was baldy Uncle Eddy?
10. And finally, Georgia was not as completely out of her mind as she is supposed to be. This Georgia was actually, strangely normal(ish) and i could relate to her. This Georgia was not very funny, was way too nice to Jas, and was not as rude and ridiculous as she was supposed to be. The whole time i was wondering where in the world is the Georgia i know and love? The whole reason that the books are fantastic is because Georgia is completely out of her mind and still manages to snag a sex god, and dave the laugh, and a few other (unwanted) boys as well. This Georgia was only semi-looney and so it was not completely insane that she got her man. I did end up liking the girl who played Georgia though, even if she didn't do my favorite brit justice.

In the end, i did end up liking the movie. I'm officially stuck in an English accent, and now i feel the need to reread all the books. This should be fab.

Money, Honey

(Knit shoulder dress, Urban Outfitters, $58.00)

I am absolutely broke. I think i have $1.65 in my checking account and probably less than that in my savings. And just my luck, the new Urban Outfitters catalogue came in the mail yesterday.

I would love to own that dress.
and this one too.

(Lucca Couture open-back dress, Urban Outfitters, $58.00)

And this blue chiffon one too.

(Kimchi Blue Chiffon slip dress, Urban Outfitters, $68.00)

Aside from all the spring dresses i want, i also think i need some new spring shoes.

(Deena & Ozzy Spectator Oxfords, Urban Outfitters, $48.00)

Too bad i don't have any money for ANY of it. But that's the point of a wishlist. Maybe i'll get some belated birthday presents :]

Gleek Fer Sure

I just spent the last 3 hours of my life watching Glee. I love that show. I love pretty much everything about it except for Finn because he gets on my nerves. I completely forgot how much i love that show until i finally committed to watching the last 3 episodes that i missed. And now that the season is over and i have until april to wait for new episodes, i am completely hooked.

First off, i love lea michelle. She is absolutely amazing. She is so talented. I completely forget that no one likes her character on the show because of her talent. In fact, i like rachel. I dont think she's annoying, i just think everyone is jealous of her.

Second, mercedes is phenomenal.

Third, um...Hottie Mohawk anyone? I guess his name is Puck on the show, or something, but i honestly don't care. He is so attractive. And even though he can be a jerk, he just wants to be there for his unborn child and i think that's so sweet. I, for one, like Hottie Mohawk. Except i think he should lose the mohawk.

Fourth, who is that insanely attractive asian guy thats always in the back but i never get to really see?

And of course we have Mr. Schuster. I am madly in love with him and have been since he sang Gold Digger. If you don't like him you must be blind. Or under the influence. No matter what that man does, from the his cardigans to his crooked smile, every episode i end up liking him more and more...and more.

I am officially a Gleek. And trying to figure out a way to become Mrs. Schuster. Sadly i think that adorable guidance counselor is going to beat me to it. Theres always Hottie Mohawk.

;]

p.s

I forgot to say how much i adore Kurt. He is fabulous in every way.

p.p.s

However, the number one reason i like Glee is because i love people who are talented, especially people who can sing. I am thrilled to see them perform everytime i watch Glee. I swear, it never gets old.

The Lovely Bones

If you have not read this book i am so, so sorry. It is amazing. It is the type of book that you become completely absorbed in. I was literally on my couch for two days straight because all i wanted to do was finish it. And after all those hours i spent on my couch reading this heartbreaking story, all i could do was think about the book, or talk about the book! I felt like i knew the characters and identified with them and felt the injustices they faced. Dramatic, maybe. But if you have not read this book i couldn't possibly expect you to understand.

Aaand now the movie is coming out and i am literally shaking in my boots. I can't wait. I nearly burst into tears everytime i see the commercial. No, i didn't cry while i was reading the book. But actually seeing the characters deal with each tramatic event makes it all the more real and heartwrenching. I typically don't like sad movies, but this one is also going to be uplifting and inspirational... and amazing.

Aw, can i keep him?

How cute is Justin Bieber? I can't even handle it, he is just adorable. I know he's only 15, but it's not robbing the cradle if you only look at the baby.

A new dawn, a new day, a new life.

2009 went by before i could even attempt to grasp it. Everyday i lived and strived for nothing more than the next day. And here i am, 365 days later and what have i acheived by living for tomorrow? See, this is the problem with living in the future. Yes, it is wise to look ahead, to prepare yourself with what is to come. But when you live in tomorrow when you have today, you steal each precious moment from your own self. There is nothing wrong with being anticipatory about the future. But never forget today. Today is where you can thrive, where you can change, where you can live. I have spent so many days in 2009 living for tomorrow, living for next week, next month. And i've forgotten what i already have. I have today. It was always the moments that i sat back and realized how truly blessed i am, realized what a beautiful day and life i've been given that i truly appreciate. The days where i watched movies with my family or drove around with my crazy father or simply sat around laughing with my friends that i truly remember and cherish. The days that were unplanned, the days that just happened.
Even though i feel as if i've waisted so many days in this year, i have had some pretty amazing experiences. I graduated from high school and started college. I finally realized who my real friends were, and found a lot more out about myself. I found my passion. I met amazing people, amazing friends. I had my first garment walk down a runway. A little piece of the world got to see my creation. And even though this list of experiences may not be very long, I am grateful for them. Each and every one.
So as i enter the new year i don't want to make resolutions for just 2010, but for the rest of my life.

1. Live a life that would make God proud.
2. Help others, as much as possible.
3. Be kind. Make others happy, make myself happy.
4. Stand up for what i believe in. No matter who is up against me.
5. Stop swearing.

Five goals shouldn't be too hard to handle :]

2010 will be beautiful. Not only because i know it will be, but because i will make sure it is.

Happy New Year!

Runway Show Numero Uno!!

Is it strange that i read my own posts? Because i was reading this one and i couldn't tell you what i thinking when i wrote it. I honestly don't know.

EDITED VERSION.
So i had my first runway show on friday night and, just my luck, i did not even get to watch it. There were so many supporters, parents and friends, that came to see the show that half the crowd could not even fit into the room with the runway. All of the designers, aside from the few that were smart enough to sneak in, had to watch their designs walk down a hallway, I was angry when it happened, but now it's not that big of a deal. I got to see my dress, and everyone else got to see my dress so i can't really even complain.

Our assignment was to take thrifty finds and make them beautiful again. I loved this assignment. I loved working on it and i'm really proud of the finished product. I know i don't know a lot about designing yet, but i know enough to realize that what i do makes me truly happy. If the clothes i make can make me happy, and other people happy then i can't really ask for more. I know that i'm lucky, and really bless to already know what i want to do for the rest of my life, so the least i can do is take advantage of it.
After the show was fun. So many people gave me the nicest compliments. It made all the hours spent on my dress well worth it. Even my saucy teacher was wonderful towards me and collegefashionista.com interviewed me for an article in january that will feature me and my dress. I honestly couldn't ask for more. I just hope every runway show i have for the rest of my life goes this well. And better.







So if this night wasn't amazing enough, Dana Buchman came to the fashion school earlier in the week to critique the Senoir fashion students' final collection. She might just be the cutest person ever. Not only does she say that eeeeverything is fabulous, but she has the tiniest little legs that are just adorable. She is a sweetheart and i swear i sat and listened to her for almost two hours. She is a dream, i couldn't get over how cute she was! It was really fantastic to see a real designer that was so kind and optimistic and genuinely excited about young designers.
Dana Buchman is fabulous, if i do say so myself.

Too eat, or not to eat?

Weight has been a talked about issue for as long as i can remember. Everyone is either too fat or too thin and no one is ever happy about how they look. I'm completely sick of it. I hate that everyone is judging one another based on physical appearance. I hate even more that millions of people are hurting themselves just to lose weight and look like girls in magazines and on the runway. Don't they see that those girls are struggling just as much as everyone else is? Most of the time pictures in magazines are retouched anyways, so everyone is trying to obtain a body image that does not even exist. I hate that everyone believes this false image of beautiful. I am guilty of looking in magazines and saying "i wish i look like her". But i'm scared that these girls in magazines that are seemingly flawless are causing us to not only harshly judge ourselves, but others as well.

Take Gemma Ward (above and left) for example. She is adorable. The fact that everyone decided that Gemma was now ugly because she gained weight is completely ridiculous. Thank God she gained weight, i thought she would break in half in she bent over too quickly. I know that her thin body was "ideal" for the fashion industry, but how can anyone possibly say that her beauty is gone and that she's done in the fashion industry? It's heartbreaking to think that becoming a real person would ruin her career. I would love to see more women that can serve as positive role models in the fashion industry. I mean, can you imagine seeing REAL women in the magazine spreads? Finally we could see how clothing would really look if we were to purchase it instead of thinking we had to weigh 100 pounds just to look nice in a dress. Honestly, there are more body types than a negative A cup and a boney butt. I'm tired of looking at knobby knees. I wonder if anyone else is?

Another girl that i love to death is Crystal Renn (right). Whoever does not think she is stunningly gorgeous is either blind or under the influence of some foreign substance. What woman would not want to look like her? I'm so thankful there's a model who doesn't look like she is in desperate need of a sandwich. Yes, i think thin models are beautiful. There are so many gorgeous models out there. But i honestly think that when a girl can be full-sized and happy with herself, that is more interesting.

Truthfully, i do not know how to design for full-sized women. But i want to learn. Full figured women will break their way in to the fashion industry. And i will be congradulating them the entire way.